I had a very interesting conversation with my friend Em over lunch today. She’s researching an article into why men don’t call women back, or suddenly go off radar after a few weeks of dating. She’s the same age as me, and about 18 months ago, she met a 34 year old who she instantly clicked with and who seemed to be as into her as she was to him. They dated for a couple of months – then he shut off and disappeared. She never got a decent answer as to why.
But now she had the perfect excuse to get in touch with him, and sent him an emailing explaining what she was doing, and would he be so kind as to illuminate her as to the reasons behind his behaviour?
What he said was a) not really a surprise and b) supremely depressing. The upshot being that he, and most men his age, found that most women their age were sussed, feisty, intelligent, independent and successful in their careers – and that was just a bit too intimidating for them. They didn’t want to be faced with the challenge of trying to prove that they were equal to it, so went for the easy option – younger, or less intelligent (or both) women.
That a man in his 30s actually admitted this is a kind of relief; after all, it confirms what we already thought, and speculated (endlessy) on. But come on, guys – really? Are you feeling so emasculated you can’t bear to hold an intelligent, opinionated conversation with an interesting woman who you might have lots more in common with than some 20 something who’s not quite found herself yet? Or do you just feel safer with someone like that because you, after all, are totally and utterly lost yourselves? Worrying, isn’t it…
